he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
