Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
