Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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