you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
