a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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