I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just want nice things and good sex
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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