why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
