these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
