I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
God, I missed his penis.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
