Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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