Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
