I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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