My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
