I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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