I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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