I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
