Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
