Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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