9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
