barbara walters just said penis...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We left an ass print on the piano.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
