Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
