If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
