I think I died a long time ago.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
