Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
