Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
