i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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