Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
