You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
