I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
