I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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