Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
