whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
a search helicopter?!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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