So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
