i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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