It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
