Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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