you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I skipped work to stalk him.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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