JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
