I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
