I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
