honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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