ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
