I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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