how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
