Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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