I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
