I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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