i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
