Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
NoShamevember. You game?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
