So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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