Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
