I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
