I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
