you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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