I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
