Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
